Run Forrest….

Crazylegs is right around the corner.  Brent registered long ago, I have been putting it off.  I can run 1 mile on the treadmill and at the end I can’t breathe, I can’t speak, I want to die.  How the hell am I going to run 8k?  On the treadmill, Brent has been running 3 miles.  Yesterday, we decided (I forced him) to go on our first run outside…together.  I was certain I would make it to the park at the end of the street and have to stop and walk.  I was also certain my 5’3″ body was not going to keep stride with my 6’4″ boy-toy.  In a total and utterly shocking turn of events….I ran 3 miles…we kept the same pace without a problem…I did not stop….I barely broke a sweat….I didn’t feel like dying….I COULD HAVE KEPT GOING!  Take that you stupid fucking scale, which by the way at last check 145.8.    I hate that fucking scale!

Registration for Crazylegs is now complete!  I’m gonna make Bascom Hill my bitch!

Proof I understand nothing….

After a weekend of drinking and eating an obnoxious amount of calories…..and not working out for 3 days……140 pounds.  That was the number on the scale this morning.  I obviously have no idea how my body works.  I’d get excited over this new number, except I won’t believe it until that number remains for more than a day.  Tomorrow, back to 146, I’d put money on it.

Something new to say?

I wish….

I have now been religiously working out since the beginning of January.  It is now the end of March.  Scale still sitting at 144……until this scale moves, I have nothing to say.  Stupid f’ing scale.

Like a Ninja…..

Ok, not really like a Ninja at all.  However, I just noticed how much more I can do than when I first started this whole working out thing.  It is especially helpful that so many people are just starting at the gym, and I see how little they can do.  I recall, not to long ago I was in that exact spot.  The spot in which “high knees” without falling over one time was an accomplishment.  I only stopped for water once today, instead of after every little move I make. 

I pushed myself today, harder than the Nazi did.  I think it may have something to do with the little white dress I purchased last week, and its lack of a back…..totally motivating!

4-up..4-down…4..4..4..4..4…

The number that haunts me! 

Today at the gym we re-did my weight/BMI stuff.  The scale there, shows I only lost 1 pound from when I started.  Then we did the BMI.  I learned that I’ve lost 4 pounds of fat (gross!), and gained 4 pounds of muscle (yeah!).  Apparently muscle weighs 3x the amount of fat.  So, I learned I am making good progress and was told to stay the fuck off the scale.  That won’t happen…I’ll be on that scale by days end.

I also signed up for more sessions with the Nazi….soon I will be fit and totally broke…awesome!

Somewhere under it all…

There are muscles that have formed.  Ab muscles I haven’t had since I was 18, working in a bakery, lifting very heavy things.  There is still a problem though.  Fat!  The thick layer of fat that lies over these muscles that is too lazy to fine a new home.  The scale goes up and down the same 4 pounds almost hourly.  It is totally maddening!  Maybe I should not weigh myself so often….but I can’t help myself.  I don’t want to miss the magic moment when this hard work pays off.  It’s a lot like waiting for water to boil on low heat, and doesn’t end in hot buttery pasta.

On another note:  DO NOT run on the treadmill sideways, you will fall off and look like a fool.  Don’t ask how I know this.

Dreading to Addiction….

I’ve moved past the phase of dreading every workout.  I am officially totally addicted.  I worked out every day last week, except Saturday.  And not working out Saturday drove me crazy.  This has happened to me once before, and it was this addiction that got me into the best shape of my life.  Well, addiction + divorce….whatever…I was in damn good shape! 

I’ve learned that being over 30 sucks when it comes to losing any weight.  Although I’ve finally broke the barrier.  The scale has stopped moving up…and has finally….slowly…painfully slowly…started moving down.  I went from my highest weight ever of 147.8 last monday to 144 by Friday.  It’s about f’ing time!  Today, among a bunch of mid-evil torture exercises I was forced into, I pulled my well over 200 pound trainer around the gym with rubber bands around my waist.  He was having a great time skiing, I was the boat with no motor.  I told him his ass needs to drop a few pounds…then I fell on the floor and died. 

Two weeks from now when I’m trying on dresses, this better be well worth it!

Waiting………

Still seeing the trainer 3 times a week.  He is working me until I feel like I want to puke, cry and curl up in the fetal position in the middle of the gym muttering for my Mommy.  I’m also trying to go twice a week on my own, to do things not as tough.  The elliptical machine has never seemed so easy.  But I continue to wait.  Continue to wait for that scale to show a smaller number than when I started.  No such luck so far.  Today, he gave me some song and dance about changing body composition.  Yeah…yeah….whatever, let’s get on with this stupid machine showing a lower number than before already.

Making progress….one sore muscle at a time.

This is the first week I will be seeing the Nazi..I mean trainer…3 times in one week.  I can’t believe I actually paid to be tortured!  But I did, and I’m actually doing it.  This week I am also writing down everything I eat.  It’s amazing how much you think about what you eat, when you know you have to write it down on a piece of paper and show it to someone.  The only thing I’ve drank the entire week is water….me…drinking water…..nobody I know will believe that.  Trust me, I will be drinking more than just water tonight…but it’s the weekend and I’m not that crazy.  Today at Chipotle, instead of a giant burrito, I went with tacos.  I got them without sour cream or cheese.  To my surprise, they were delicious.  I didn’t know tacos were edible without those two items.  Mentally progress has been made…now lets see some results damn it!

Oh my back…my back and my neck…my neck and my back!

I feel 80 this morning.  This trainer is trying to kill me, I’m certain of it.  At 6am yesterday morning I exerted more energy than I have in months…ok, years…..ok, EVER!  It started at 6am with exercises my body is not ment to do.  After thinking he was trying to kill me straight from that get-go, I realized this was just the warm up.  Then on to 15 minutes on the elliptical at the highest resistance and keeping strides over 100 per minute.  Then onto 10 reps of 10 (that’s 100 each) of bench presses, weighted squats, and some sort of 50 pound pull down thing-a-majigs (technical term).  Why stop there?  Not because I’m about to puke…no, that would be silly.  Then pushing 90 pound weights around followed by some sort of ab exercises that made me want to hurl.  Today I’m like an 80-year-old with osteoporosis. I better look fucking fabulous in this fucking dress!